Perhaps one of the reasons why I fear conviction is because of the pain that accompanies it. When God places His finger on an area of my life that needs correction, it bears the weight and sharpness of a sword. His Spirit is gentle — but even a gentle hand can feel very heavy.
Conviction has been a keen companion of mine this week. Its presence was thick and heavy this morning, like the moist air of this chilly autumn day. I crave sanctification and a cleansing of my heart and mind. O that Jesus would be the object of my desire and the Source of my satisfaction…
As prayer and tears flowed from Conviction’s gentle touch, my weary heart subsided in its pleading. The quieting presence of Peace joined me.
And in the midst of this weakness, the painful recognition of my far-from-perfect heart, I find myself whelmed with quiet delight; delight in the faithfulness and redemption of my perfect Savior.
Ecstatic happiness does not accompany conviction. Instead, deep Joy in knowing that God is working on me. Resting joy. Dependent joy. Expectant joy. Joy that invites me to cling to God’s grace for the present, and to hope in His promise of grace for the future. Joy that challenges me to believe that out of my broken and ash-ridden self, God can cause a garden of righteousness to bloom.
Mistake this not to be a tale of woe. No, quite the contrary. The probing company of Conviction, the gentle presence of Peace, and the quiet confidence of Joy are all gifts. They are ministers of Righteousness, bearers of life. And oddly enough, the gifts that Peace and Joy give are sweeter because they are preceded by conviction.
All this to say…. I was reminded today that I need not fear conviction. Rather, to embrace the piercing sword of His conviction is to embrace life. The sword does not pierce to hurt me, but to hurt and ultimately destroy that which is draining the life out of me. The Sword does away with the weeds of sin, and makes room for new life to grow.
Take the very hardest thing in your life, the place of difficulty, outward or inward, and expect God to triumph gloriously in that very spot. Just there, He can bring your soul into blossom.
~ Lilia Strotter ~
songs of stippled stardust 