A few hours ago I stood by my grandfather’s graveside, in approximately -37 degrees celsius, and observed as his coffin was lowered into the ground. His skin was slightly discoloured. He was dressed sharply in a suit, with a red poppy symbolically pinned into his jacket. I had the privilege of being the first woman to assist in throwing dirt over his coffin — joining my father, brothers, uncles and cousins in performing the last duty to my veteran grandfather as we laid his eighty-something year old body into the ground. Today I am proud and deeply grateful to be numbered among Jan Michnik’s grandchildren.
The funeral is over. My Jewish Grandpa, a WWII veteran and Holocaust survivor, is in the ground next to the body of his late wife, Justina, who beat him to heaven by twenty-five and a half years.
I am so thankful that the formalities are over. Certainly there will be more tears yet; I can still feel them in my system. But I saw his body — his husk, his shell — and I knew the instant I first saw him in the coffin that that was not my Grandpa anymore. The body was his, yes, but all the life and spirit and spark was absent.
He is probably playing a game of chess with one of his friends or relatives who have gone before him. Or perhaps he’s having a conversation with Grandma. However he may be spending this evening in eternity, I would imagine he is smiling with the most genuine radiant smile he has ever worn. The horrific memories of war-torn Europe — the concentration camps, the dead bodies, the deep sorrow, the fear and loneliness he knew as a child and teenager — all of that, I think, is disintegrated by the glories of heaven. I imagine that my sharp, ever-thinking, analytical grandfather is now basking like a child in the peaceful presence of Jesus. He has never known peace like he knows today in paradise.
The grief will be with us for a long time to come. My heart aches for my dad’s grief. But I do not wish Grandpa back with us. He has run hard. He was weary in body and spirit, and I am so happy for him that he is with Jesus now. I look forward to a golden game of chess with him someday, but for now I can smile and praise God knowing that he is unencumbered by the brokenness he knew in this life.
Rest easy Pops. See you at the wedding feast.
*snort snort*
With love, your proud granddaughter
songs of stippled stardust 